Interracial Marriage

I suddenly see a lot of tweets about interracial marriages for this past few hours. I first felt slight anger because I see no necessary for Malaysians to make this an issue, then I realized, aren't we Malaysians always making something,anything and everything an issue? Sigh. 

Interracial marriages to me is such a divine relationship. They're beautiful and strong, and I've seen it very closely in life. I'm a child of interracial marriage. Dad comes from an Indian Muslim (Malbari) family whos origins are from Kerala,India. Whereas Mum comes from a Sikh (Punjabi) family, from Kampung Pandan. Fate took its twist, and they met. It has been 18 years long, and looking at them now, I secretly wish to have such a beautiful relationship in future. Trust me when I say, mum keeps on telling us, that she feels as thou she just got married. Yes, that is because nothing has changed ever since then. Except that now they have five extra "luggages".  Their love, respect, care and thoughts, remains the same.

Speaking about the count of interracial marriages, I think we are one of those countries with highest number of count. We come from a background of various race, religions, culture and style of living, and I see no necessary reason of being against it. How would we have our gorgeous Chindian girls, super hot Chinese Punjabi guys and cute little Indian Muslim kids without interracial marriages? 

Hello, this has been going on for years, and now you people are coming up with lame excuses to go against it? 

To those who are saying that interracial marriages is against Islamism, I apologize for saying this, but there are tons of people doing wrong out there, and even committing worse sins, (according to the Islamic way of life) but finding fault in marriages is just plain stupid. Go out to a night club in KL, and see the number of Muslim teenagers there, be it Malays, Indian Muslims, Pakistani Muslims or even those Arabs down here. From clothes to drinking liquor, up to free mixing, everything is the total opposite of Islamism. You can't stop people from committing sins, but then don't bring up silly issues. If they're mature enough to decide their marriage, then they are surely able to decide their way of life. 

Looking at it in a practical way, I surely support interracial marriage. Than to have sex, get pregnant and to find the child in bins and toilets, I find that building a family with love and care,then raising the kids with manners and good etiquettes way more respectful. On the other hand, his and her families. When culture and caste comes in between. One word, ridiculous. We're in 2012. United States has approved gay marriage and here we are argueing about caste and culture. *slaps head*                                                                          

Culture clashes happens in interracial marriages, but it all depends on how the couple is going to cope and how will the kids be raised. Fortunately,these days, I don't see culture clashes happening. The couple and their families are able to respect, accept and approve the culture of another. I see Chinese families are being able to accept an Indian daughter-in-law and a Malay family accepting a  Punjabi son-in-law. For instance, my father, while attending my maternal cousin's wedding in the gurdwara, had his head covered. That's what I'm saying about. Give respect to the other family and problem solved! 

Now, the unfortunate part is the one involving us. Yes, us brown people. You know who. Caste. Caste. Caste. "No son, I don't care if she is a doctor, earns more than you, and is the prettiest girl in the universe, you can't marry her. She's from a lower cast. Our relatives will look low upon us. Its an prestige issue.", that's what typical brown parents will tell you. *shrugs* So what?? So what if the other is from another caste? Lower or higher? You can't blame him/her for being born into those specific caste. Not that they choose to. And even worse, when someone from a lower caste is living a better earning, is more educated, and carries herself/himself better in public than the one in the higher caste? I personally feel that their family should be thankful the couple are truly in love with each other, instead of fooling around, has decided to build a family, witnessed by God Almighty, and is legally approved. Why put your kids in dilemma? Excuse me, prestige issue? Your prestige would go down the trash if they eloped. Duh.  

Interracial marriages in Islam is way too complicating for my understanding. It may seem like a simple concept for Muslims that's been raised in the western society. Our parents, in the other hand see this as the end of the world,unfortunately. They grew up in different circumstances, in a different kind of society and in different cultures. I’m not saying that only because you live in the west it means you should forget about your culture, but it’s that culture has no Islamic basis. Is the culture you preached about during your lifetime going to save you in your grave? I wish our parents could understand this.

This is all about culture, it has zero to do with Islam. The same thing goes to the fact that it’s more ok for men to marry a non-Arab than females. This is all based on culture and what people is going to say. This also has a lot to do with what kind of person you are. I know a lot of families who’d never consider getting their son or daughter married to someone outside their tribe because they think they’ll face a lot of “culture clashes”.  And here we go! Back to the world of cultures again.

It’s about how open minded you are. You can’t for one second think that you can marry someone from another tribe if you are close minded. Because your brain has been filtered with so many veils that prevents you from thinking pure thoughts. Pure as in raw. But even then, this is not enough. In Islam you have to respect and obey your parents until they tell you to do something that goes against Islam. If your parents are unhappy with you, then Allah (swt) is also unhappy with you. And this is why I say, interracial marriage in Islamism is way to complicated for my understanding. Maybe our understanding.

 Besides that, based on what I've seen, interracial marriages last longer these days. I want to see couples grow old together than to see them getting up and down the court, filing divorce papers together. (Not wishing to say in precise which race.) The world needs true, long lasting love. 

I wrote this post because I'm a biracial child and I felt the necessity to put my points out. I know not everyone might be approving what I have wrote. Just a reminder, its my blog. If my parents ever read this post, they'll be assuming that I have a boyfriend from another race. Well, I am yet to find someone, but then I just know that my parents would never disapprove a interracial marriage. (Terms and Conditions apply).

To those couples who is suffering from effected family affairs after your interracial marriage, trust me, it won't be long. Your love for each other will grow fonder. Build your family, and prove your love. The hurdles, the pain, the tears will all be worth someday. Someday, your family will have you back. Someday, everything will be fine. Someday, it will all be alright. I know.

Folks, ones rewards and sins is between him and God Almighty. Don't let culture and cast come in between. Respect their feelings and their relationship. Let them couples live their life. Give them a chance to have their dream wedding. Let them wear that once a life time smile while exchanging their rings. 

If anyone has thought of making this an issue, please feel welcomed. Mail me your comments or critics, I'd love to discuss this. After all, this is what I said and why it matters to you? 

Sometimes we can’t see what’s right in front of us, because it’s behind us, and we’re looking in a mirror.

I wish you could look into the mirror and see beyond your face, way past the surface to see more. More than what the world sees, more than what your friends see, more than I or even you can see. That is what you are. You are more than any label or stereotype, bigger than any first glance or expectation. You are more.

You are more than the makeup and the way you style your hair, more than the clothes and magazines, more than all that frustration spent on trying to live up to some ridiculous, unobtainable idea. You are not your age, not your weight, not your eye color, hair color, skin color. You are much, much more.

You are more than your schedules and routines, habits and compulsions, more than a bubbly social butterfly, more than the hidden shyness. You are more than the movies, video games, music and trends you love. More than the chores and homework, more than the job and the role you play. You are everything beyond the impossible projects and all the conflicts you hate.

You are more than all of your exceptional high points, more than all of the things that you never want anyone to know about. Anything that you feel ashamed about – you are more than that, more than those secrets that you keep bottled up because you think you’d bother others with them. You are more than any shortcomings you think you see on the outside, more than any kind of judgment you hastily cast on yourself attempting to be “enough.”

You are more than a trusting friend, much more than comic relief. Witty remarks and banter don’t even scratch the surface! You are more than your place in your family, more than the position in your social circle you happen to fill.

You are more than your sex and the clothes that emphasize or hide it. There is so much more to you than straight lines or sloping curves, more than strong come-ons and coy glances. Yes you are all of the things that all girls and women are, but you are not reduced down to being just those things. You are much, much more.

You are more than angry outbursts, more than confusion about the future regarding yourself and the world. You are so much more than all of your nighttime unvoiced fears, more than the sudden tears, the sweeping highs, and rocky lows. More than all the roads you have to walk in between.

You are more than fire, than water, than blood. You are more than dancing, more than music, more than paint or clay or film. More than cloth or technology, old or new stories – that is what you are.

You are who you are, and you will always discover new layers, new mores. You are possibility, hope, and ability. You are destiny before it happens, bird’s first flight before it plummets from the nest for the very first time. You are potential and you can truly be anything you really want. You can do anything you truly want. You can accomplish things greater than you know. But you have to want to be more.

Because you are also more than selling yourself short, more than worrying how you’ll go about doing any one thing. You are more than pettiness, more than self-degradation. By being who you are, you are already beautiful and special. You are more than beautiful and special.

Have faith. Forget the mirror. Forget what everything around you tells you to be. Be who you are.