The Fan Keeps Running

It's night time. I enter my room; things just the way I left them - dried clothes on the chair, my computer downloading movies, an empty water bottle on the floor, the smell of my 'Tresor" still lingering in the air and my messed up bed. The fan, running. Ahh, this is the life. 

No matter how I leave my room, I never switch off my fan. Why? Well because it keeps up the ventilation, gets my wet towel dry and moreover, gives me a nice gush of air the moment I enter my room baked in the outdoor weather. 

I plug my smart phone to the charger, put my bag away, change into something more comfortable for the night, fix up something to eat, play some good music and relax. Friend's visit, we talk and laugh. Some complain, some entertain, some gossip and some just like to drop in to say hi.
The fan keeps running. 

I think about them, their issues, contemplating on what I would've done. I talk to them, try to help them. How much importance do we tend to give to trivial things in life? A broken heart, a heated argument, jealousy, materialism, a men's male ego and a female's envy. Hours pass by and nothing seems to be done. Just another talk session. The fan keeps running. 

Morning follows; the usual routine. Some random plans once in a while. Good food even less. Library, coffee, books. Alas, my room again.
The fan still running. 

I hear the fan running. Reminds me how things don't always happen smoothly. How people around you can make you miserable. How friends turn into enemies. How you can badly miss a hug from mum and dad and can do nothing about it. How you miss giggling around with the brothers and you feel tears trickling down the cheeks in matter of seconds. I miss everything. 

Its an irony how people whom hurts you the most teaches you the greatest lesson in life. Yes, they taught me. 

I hear the fan running. This time it made an unusual, "krikkk" sound. Aligning to my feelings, I presumed. Weird the world is. People judge you based on who your group of companies are, who you have your lunch with maybe even whom you go to the toilet to. You lower your ego to the pit, apologize for what's not your mistake, only to be labeled for "Friends with a bitch." You be friends with girls, you're a brat. You hang out with guys, you're a slut. 

I laughed at myself. Who are we trying to satisfy? The society, the friend or the very own self?

Probably a question, which many has been faking for years. Or even over their life.

Sometimes I sit and think about the good old days, old friends, true relations. Silence surrounds me. Only the sound of the running fan. Everything just happens so fast. So far away from home, I wonder if I really have people to whom matters to me. Friends who I assume to be close. Those who if asked to do something, don't question. Those, to whom I can bare my soul and still know that they would remain the same. 

I trust too much. I fall. I get up, stabilize and then I fall again. I learn. I smile. I laugh. The thing with coming to any conclusion is that it always has the potential to change. I smirk. I remain optimistic. The fan keeps running. 

Apart from only a select few, all are the same. Feels bad to judge and to part from people you once loved. But moving on is a necessity. Those who don't understand me now, can never understand me later. I wipe that tear drop and switch off the light.

The fan keeps running, my life keeps on moving.