She has been feeling very lost as of late to be honest.She has been feeling a whole lot of "myself change". In several different ways and not really known how to stop it.
She felt really muddled. Confused with her feelings, confusing just in herself really. She feel like she don't really know herself anymore. As if the 'old her' is gone, and what's left is still developing. So she is sort of drifting through life without much of an identity. Maybe the 'new her' when she finally arrives will be new and improved? So far doesn't look that way but she can surely hope.
Earlier today, she was waiting for her bus to arrive (which means she was waiting for a while..) and she looked through the buildings to the sky. The sun was starting to set and there were streaks of orange through the clouds. It was really beautiful.
Then she started thinking about the concept of 'beauty'.
Beauty can be defined in so many different ways. But it is, of course, in the eye of the beholder.
Some people will look at a sunset and think "What's the big deal? It's only colours." Others will stand and be lost for words at its magnificance.
She thought to her self, that she was starting to lose sight of beauty in her life. She was forgetting the things she considered beautiful.
Then she started thinking about the concept of 'beauty'.
Beauty can be defined in so many different ways. But it is, of course, in the eye of the beholder.
Some people will look at a sunset and think "What's the big deal? It's only colours." Others will stand and be lost for words at its magnificance.
She thought to her self, that she was starting to lose sight of beauty in her life. She was forgetting the things she considered beautiful.
For her, words, language, colour, photographs, memories, nature, sunset... these are the things she think are beautiful in their own ways. Words can bring tears to her eyes. Words, is the only thing that listens to her. Without argueing back. That's her world, that's where she belong. Colour makes the world interesting. Staring at photographs are her passion. Memories keep her human. Sunsets for her, show beauty before the dark, and sunrises the dawn of something better.
She find people beautiful. She is somehow greatly priveledged to know some truly beautiful people, both inside and of course out. She has recently met some new people. Some stunningly beautiful inside. Honestly,she missed knowing people who amaze her with only words. It's been her 'savior' as of late.
And of course,music. Music is one of the most amazing things we, as a race, have ever dreamed up. Music was her original saviour, when she had no one else to turn to. As how words were. Its just that one speaks, but doesn't listen, the other listens and listens without a saying a word.
She turned around, and saw the her bus making its way to her. And again, she thought to herself, maybe if she try to hold onto the things she thinks of as beautiful.... maybe, she might find the new her faster. And just maybe... she'll be okay...?
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